Как да се справим с нестабилността в личния живот и бизнеса?

Здравейте на всички, които ни четете! Днес ще направим един разговор с Марк Де Турк. Предстои нещо много интересно. Ще поговорим за това как да спрем нестабилността, изразена в пикове и спадове в живота и в бизнеса през призмата на неговия опит. Ще разгледаме един case study, който той ще ни разкаже и по този начин смятаме, че ще бъдем максимално полезни.

Hello Marc, it´s so nice to see you.

Hello again. Здравейте на всички.

What are we talking about tonight?

I think if you look around the world, I travelled in the last month in different countries, there is uncertainty and lots of companies and people stuck to the ups and downs again. I think it´s very important to know something about that so that you can stably expand and that´s why if you allow me I would talk to you about this with a case study.

Yes, that will be great because a lot of our audience is a business owners. As every business owner or as every person we have ups and downs even on a daily basis, so it´s really useful to know how to prevent that.

Exactly. You know in Bulgarian they say “Как си ти? Горе-голу.” Well, горе-долу не е нормално. Само нагоре. That´s the game. In Bulgaria specially it becomes so normal to do ups and downs, but actually it isn´t.

Is it possible only ups?

Absolutely. On a trend you should go up. If you are not going up there is something wrong. There is tree important data, but today we are going to take the first one, the most important one. If people want to know more they can contact you and ask to get more.

On this planet there is two kinds of people. One kind is called social people or social personality and the other one is called antisocial personality. Everyone have learned what is social behavior, what is not social behavior, etc. We are not going to talk about that. Today I´m going to talk about something very specific. You have unfortunately on this planet people who have 12 exact characteristics. And those people we will call today antisocial. While you have a lot of people with social characteristics, which is just the reverse of the 12 characteristics, this is the absolute majority – more than 80% of the people are okay, good people. Unfortunately there is some people who are what we call the saboteurs. 2.5 in 1000.

In the middle of a big storm 85% of the people will help each other and try to survive, but a very small minority of the people at that moment will sabotage the ship. And then you have in the middle the people do ups and downs. The people who don´t know. Those people on the middle of a crisis situation will fall overboard, will become ill, will have problems, will broke the leg, will make errors. These people we call them potential trouble sources. This is only on average 20%. 80% social, 20% ups and downs and a very low percentage of saboteurs.

In a crisis situation like we have today, the number of people with ups and downs increases because if you don´t know you are stucked into do like this. The answer to ups and downs is actually the following: one – to know that the ups and downs don´t come from heaven, it´s not normal. There is a reason for that and the reason is the person is living or working with antisocial personality. And two – to stop this you have to know who this is and then handle this person or disconnect. It´s very important to know who are your friends as a business leader because you can have the best purpose, the best organization, the best communication, the best sells people, the best product, but if you have one saboteur in your team your company will do like this.

I will give you some of the characteristics of the antisocial people.

This antisocial people can they be fixed or we just remove them from our lives?

In principle they can be fixed but the question if they want it. In our group, I´m scientologist and I work with the Hubbard´s management system, we say we first put our attention on the good people and antisocial people will be helped later.

An antisocial people in principle can´t change unless he or she wants to. Some are born like that and other become like that. I will give you some of the characteristics.

The first and very important characteristic is those people generalize. They say everyone, always, continuously the people, the politicians, the business people, woman. They do this continuously and when you ask them who is everyone? The say everyone. They can´t be specific.

Second characteristic is they will continuously give bad news. Good news they stop. Bad news they spread it out and make it bigger. For instance if you do have a secretary who is antisocial and she gets one telephone of a client who is unhappy, half an hour later everyone in the company will know that everyone, all the clients are not happy. And good news she will stop. If there is one client who is very happy, six months later nobody knows about it.

Third characteristic they can´t improve. You guys follow the trainings and the magazine of Plamen because you think maybe I´m going to learn something about it. Those people say “Да бе да. What are you going to learn?”. They don´t believe people can improve. If they go to school or university, or if they follow a seminar it is because their boss wants it or just to show it above the others. They will continuously push you down if you want to improve.

Another characteristic is if you have an antisocial person in a company or in a family, the people directly around they have miseries, financial problems, drug problems, alcohol problems. And then you say this family is born with bad luck. With all my respect things are not coming from heaven, they come from people. If this person goes away from the family, family goes better. I have seen it happening in a company. Antisocial person comes in, the same day the fax breaks. There is a virus on the computer. NAP is contacting the company. Person goes away and everything goes better. Interesting, right? Well that´s their power. It´s hidden.

Do they do it on purpose?

Yes of course. Those people think that everyone is a danger for them. They have to put everyone down because they think that if someone goes better they will being attacked and they will lose. They are hidden. If you don´t see this you are going to do ups and downs. Because they honestly don´t have power. You give them power. They are just making you doubt; they make you smaller. Everything you do and say they will try somehow in a hidden or not so hidden way to make it smaller. If you are not strong enough you stuck to doubt and because you doubt, you are not in present time. And if you are not in present time you have accidents, illnesses, etc and so do ups and downs.

When you have this kind of person in your family or in your business, and you can´t handle this person, and this is one of the few leftover human right, is the right to communicate or not to communicate. So you can then cut the communication. But you should do this without creating antagonism, without creating negative. For example: imagine your father wants you to be a lawyer and you would like to be an artist. Your father is continuously pushing you down. Well, don´t do the following: “Fuck, I´ll be an artist and I´ll show you”, because if you do this who is the boss? The boss is the father, he is playing with you. Better is to say: “Thank you very much father, but I know what I want to do. Let´s stay friends and chao” and you do what you want to do. This is much more intelligent. Because otherwise if you are going to a kind of mental war, you are affect. And in you are affect you go up and down also.

How long do you try to help to someone?

This is your own decision. It depends on your own ethics. I´ll give you another example. Two business people of which the business was doing ups and downs and it was because of their wife. There is no personal and business life. It´s life. Private life influences business life and vice versa.

One is immediately cutting the communication and bye. The other one is taking 5 years but now after 5 years business is seriously up and the wife is changed and now helps him. This depends on your own decision. But the game to stop them to make you smaller is what we call high diplomacy. If you want really to handle you should always try to find something positive in this people. I know it´s not easy but it is the only way out to handle them. If you can´t do this, if you don’t want or don´t have time to do this, you better say bye to them in a correct way.

Let me continue with the next characteristic of the antisocial people. Whenever there is a problem they can´t logically look at the things so they always blame someone or something else. They will always give the error to someone or something else than the real error.

The next characteristic which is very important when you hire people is they can´t finish something. Let´s say that people in your company start at 8:00, they will be there at 7:30. They will be very busy, they are the experts in looking busy specially when the boss comes. Let´s say you stop at 17:00. They will go at 18:00 and continuously look busy. Let´s take a social woman with kids. She comes into the office at 08:15, 15 minutes later because she has the kids in the school. And she goes earlier because she has to get the kids from school. In the noontime she takes some time, she doesn´t look busy. In a crisis situation the antisocial person will come to you and say: “Boss, did you see, she´s always late or she doesn´t look busy”. An antisocial person is an expert in starting things, in looking very busy but can´t finish something. While the social person doesn´t necessary look busy, sometimes come late, but finishes something. This is extremely important in business. I see happening a lot that bosses say to the person that doesn´t look busy: “You go” while the antisocial person stays in the company and then the company goes seriously down.

Why do they do that, because of the ego?

Let´s not use psychological terms. They do this because mentally they believe that everyone is against them. Basically those people continuously live in terror. Something happened in the past in this live or in the past lives lives before so heavy that they are not in present time. They think that if they want to survive they have to push everyone else down. If they aren´t so powerful they would have a nice mask. If they have power will show it openly.

I will give you two more characteristics. Another characteristic of those people is they can´t help really. When you recruit people you should ask one question: Can you help me? Could you do this? And you let people do something simple. You will see. They can´t finish cycle and help. On the other hand if they can “help” people by killing them, they love it.

The last characteristic of those people is they believe that property is not existing. Property is invented. In communism you have one element which is very close to this. Property doesn´t exist for those people so they steal without knowing that they steal. For example in Bulgaria in car dealer company. The guy told me coffee 3000 lv per year, 20 people. I told him you have hyperactive coffee drinkers. This is a lot of money. So I opened the чекмедже of one of the guys and it was full of coffee capsules. So I asked him “What is happening?” and he said “Coffee is for everyone”. They think like that.

If you live or work with someone like this which have the majority of this characteristics, that means 7 of the 12, in the majority of the time and you don´t know or see this, you are going to do ups and downs, because you are going to doubt about everything. If you see this it´s finished and then you should have a rule in your company: no generalizations, no bad news. In my company there is only facts and if someone gives bad news we stop him immediately. Then everyone knows what it´s expected from his as a result and if it´s not finished all the group helps this person to finish this. You should build a group without antisocial people.

The solution is to know the 12 characteristics, to know what this suppression, pushing down and then to discover who is the person and have a plan what to do. 90% of the people who do ups and downs we can stabilize them in 2-3 hours. There is exceptions and the exceptions we can send to Skopie where they can have all the weekend and if still they do ups and downs, which is rare, then we can send them to Brussels, Los Angeles or wherever until they finish completely. Because ups and downs are not something normal. And with ups and downs I mean one week being fantastically well and the next week ill. The next week doing fantastically well and the next week accidents. In business it´s similar. One month big affluence, next month crash without control.

Yes, a lot of people, specially in Bulgaria think it´s normal but it´s not.

I´ll give one case. A beautiful practical case 15 years ago in Belgium. There is a guy, founder of a building contracting company, a big one, 100 people working for him, young guy. One evening, I´ll never forget this, he telephones me. I was at that moment in Holland. He telephones me and he says: “Marc, my company is going bankrupt”. I said: “Okay, I´m coming”. I picked my car and it took me 2 hours to arrive there. He had a revolver on his desk. He wanted to kill himself. I calmed him and I said: “Put the revolver out”. And then I said: “Listen, there are social and antisocial people. Let´s look at this antisocial people” and I give him the 12 characteristics with examples. And then social characteristics with examples. And then he said: “Oh my God, I´m the one who is doing ups and downs”. I said: “Well done that you see this”. So then I asked him: “Who is the antisocial person?”. He said: “This partner”. I said: “Okay, good that you see this. Let´s look at the 12 characteristics and do the exercise”. Okay, is doing it, indeed his partner was the antisocial personality. I said: “Okay, now is your decision. You want to handle or you want to cut the communication?”. He said that want to cut the communication but doesn´t know how. I helped him. I said him: “Tomorrow you take your directors with you, your responsible people and your partner, and we are going to do a 2 hours training. You call this motivational training. So we do this and basically what I did was I explained the 12 characteristics of the social and antisocial people to everyone. And the partner became green. At the end of the lecture he came to us and said: “There is too much stress, I want to go away”. And he left the company the same day.

We saw that during the years he was partner he stole quite some money from the guy. We put the police behind, etc. two months later this company went like that. 5 years later he sold the company, now he is living in China doing interior design of skyscrapers. I´ve saved his life and he became a friend forever. Just by one thing.

Basically what I used there is a simple thing. You know I work with the works of Ron Hubbard. In his book called Ethics there is 20 pages explaining what I just explained. That´s all that I used. It´s very strong, but at the same time it´s simple.

I think this is a very important topic and we should go further in the next interview. Thank you for this example and this knowledge. Any last word for this interview?

Пожелавам на всички кураж, здраве и успех, и само нагоре!